Submitted by: Leah P. Hollis, author of Unequal Opportunity
In the world of gender discrimination law suits such as Wal-Mart, American Apparel and various colleges that face such charges, many can wonder what sparks a complaint, and how to avoid it. People spend more waking time in the workplace than they do at home or with a spouse. Often, co-workers try to make each other comfortable with pleasant comments and even an occasional hug. In a recent radio interview, Dr. Leah Hollis, Founder of Patricia Berkly LLC Diversity Training and Consulting Group, was asked “Can I hug someone at work?”
The answer depends on the person receiving the hug. Some office staffs have developed a culture where compliments and the occasional hugs are the norm. The staff is accepting of such comments and literally embraces each other in good times and bad.
The problem occurs when someone DOESN’T welcome the hug or compliment. Perhaps a married man doesn’t want women hugging him. Perhaps a colleague was raised in a culture where men and women don’t hug. A young secretary might feel uncomfortable with excessive complements, even if he or she made a point to dress especially nice to the office.
While a colleague might have good intentions, if the recipient perceives a problem, there is a problem. However, the recipient has the RESPONSIBILITY to speak up. If he or she doesn’t like the comments on hair, clothes, etc, or doesn’t like the office hugs, he or she must put the staff on notice respectfully. Without the recipient giving the organization notice, fellow colleagues are not made aware of his or her boundaries.
Often “better safe than sorry” should be the rule of thumb. Be careful of comments that invoke gender related slang, jokes, or off color remarks. Don’t kill ‘em with kindness, stay in tuned to your staff’s boundaries.
Written by Leah P. Hollis, author of Unequal Opportunity, (2011) www.patriciaberkly.com.
